Although I think there are gaps in his argment that an average driver might be able to manoeuvre through without hitting too many objects, it is not that aspect I wish to open up. However, I consider the two examples are signs of a shift in the times. Lord Carey, former archbiship of Canterbury, has responded with a call to respect the nation’s heritage with an acknowledgement of the CofE as the established religion. Certainly his call to understand the history of a place is well grounded, but through that kind of argument are we expecting more than we should?

So cards on table: I have been seriously injected with a dose (I don’t think overdose) of Anabaptism. Separation of church and state. The requirements of Jesus are for his disciples. Not swearing allegiance, etc.

But back to signs of the times. Yes we can consder that there is a growing disrespect to faith. However, our history has been one of imposition (did the Reformation ‘succeed’ through winning hearts or through the conversion of a ruler?). I am currently reading the spread of the Spanish Empire. The ‘natives’ could have the Gospel preached to them and given the offer of conversion and submission to the crown of Spain. A neat little package all thrown in! General Franco conquered Spain as son of Spain and servant of God. The Catholic hierarchy more or less totally backed his crusade (which for some could be spelt genocide).

Of course ‘we’ can argue that we have not been so bad as that. Maybe.

We are coming to the end of an era. That era has many facets to it but one is that of christendom. I do not consider that christendom was ever valid, and we have to learn to live on the margins again as servants not as rulers.

We have prayed for first century realities in terms of faith, but I suspect to really live in those realities we will need to have a similar context. Faith expressed in the public arena, but not with Christianity in a privileged centralised position.

This is a decade when so much will be unrecognisable by the end of it. The process is something though we will have to embrace. A process where we recognise that change does not take place through no. 10, Brussels or the White House, but in lives that are absolutely committed to follow the Crucified One.

Economies are going to be shaken (this being a pivotal month), circumstances will be harder, privileges will be lost. And in all that Jesus will not need to be defended.

So in the changing times we must resist the temptation to try to restore something from the past. A new day is here with the increasing possibility of first century faith being expressed in a twenty-first century setting.

Spare a thought for the Rob Bell’s and others who have tried to push certain discussions into the open. Just a thought: let’s not be too quick to dehumanise others.

With around 1200 references to land / earth in Scripture this is not a small theme, and with early revelation that the earth was cursed because of sin it is no surprise that the relationship between people and land is very key. Makes total sense that we await a new heavens and a new earth.

A very central NT Scripture on land is found in John 10:39-42. It comes at the end of a section from John 7 where Jesus finds a hostile response in Jerusalem (geography dominated by politically compromised religion). Then we read:

Again they sought to arrest him, but he escaped from their hands.
He went away again across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing at first, and there he remained. And many came to him. And they said, “John did no sign, but everything that John said about this man was true.” And many believed in him there.

Six geographical references amidst one historical reference. (I occasionally learn a little English, and discovered the other day the difference in meaning between historic and historical, now got to master a little more Spanish…)

No two geographies are the same… Jerusalem and across the Jordan are different. In Jerusalem the history has developed a dominating ‘spirit’ that stones and kills the prophets; but across the Jordan we discover a place that is conducive to faith in Jesus.

Oh to find places like that. Oh to live in a place like that. Or maybe more exciting to live in a place and contribute toward it becoming like that. If what is present today is largely due to yesterday’s activity, then tomorrow’s spiritual dynamic begins today.

For this reason I applaud those who are sowing seed into the trade routes. I expect to see a harvest. When? Tomorrow. I applaud the hidden ones, losing their lives. Seed today for tomorrow.

We can pursue this further as we look at the outcome of Western christendom. The fruit is on the land, but the seed from death is in the land. There are tougher days ahead, but there are also better (healthier) ones.

A huge tension comes as to how we do what needs to be done to change history. A huge part must be to turn on the light into the darkness, rather than curse the darkness. We cannot be so overwhelmed with the negative history (and here we sit in one of the most ancient continually inhabited regions of Europe) that we do not expect anything until 3000 years, or whatever length of time we consider is alive, is dealt with. No, let’s turn on the powerful light. And yet… it seems sin is dealt with through confession and repentance. That is my guess why Jesus found the ‘across the Jordan’ geography a happy place. It had resounded to the confession of sin as John was busy baptising, a baptism connecting people and land again.

This weeks blog takes it’s inspiration from a living room conversation that I had with a great friend Tony John. Tony and Pat are a couple that I love so much, walking paths, pioneering paths, living paths. They knew what it was to walk a more ‘liquid’ expression of church before anyone was even talking about it. For that walk I honour them. After a couple of years without seeing them, Monday saw a time of re-connection as we shared coffee and stories of love’s great adventure. Dots were re-joined. A clearer picture began to emerge. This blog is titled after one of those throw away phrases you just happen to come out with in conversations like this. The ‘Word of the Lord’ is so natural and normal. Rhema in the middle of the ordinary and unplanned.

“We are like orphaned fathers (and mothers)”

For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers… (1 Corinthians 4:15)

One of the subjects we discussed was that of being fathers to those in the Way. Realising that we ourselves were a fatherless generation, but in thinking about this more and more maybe not fatherless but orphaned. As I grew in the church I knew what it was to have fathers/mothers. I think of my first ‘pastor’ Alan Kidd, many youth leaders, the so called ‘Senior Pastor’ at Lutterworth, David Maggs. I have been privileged to have had great spiritual parents on my journey. I cannot say any of these people abused their authority, all they did was promote and encourage me in my walk with Christ. I am so thankful to God for the people he has given me in my journey. I know many cannot say this of their own journeys. Even when I first moved into Wales a guy called Paul Dando was such an encouragement. But then came the prophetic wave, the new, the fresh expressions. Then came the time to walk more and more the liquid path outside the walls of organised church life. This is where all of a sudden the Fathers of the past could not see where you were going. This is where the Fathers started to try to control and cry rebellion. This is where they began to turn their backs on us and walk away. We were given up as lost, back sliding, missing the mark, disobedient. In the new landscape we were orphaned. In the wilderness and the cave and the rolling hills of the spontaneous there were no fathers. No one had been this way before. The only measuring stick was where everyone had been before, the old form. It was so easy to call us loose canons but we never set out to do it alone, it was just when we got there nobody else was there to take us under their wing. We had to discover the parameters for ourselves and make mistakes, which of course proved the watching eyes right that we deserved to be rejected. Here we learned a dependence on Father. He was there walking in the cool of the garden. Orphaned fathers began finding other orphaned fathers. Here was a new beginning to see that another generation would not be fatherless.

Fathers not instructors

There are a billion and one people who would tell us what to do. Instruct us on what the verses mean for us and how to apply them to our lives. Downloads, books, conferences, web-sites, blogs, all full of how to live, how to walk, how to worship, how to pray, how to party, how to live prophetically. God is not looking for people to instruct this generation and say ‘this is how I learned to do it, now you do it like this’. He is calling parents to be there, to bring forth life. Parents do not have to understand their children to parent them. The problem comes when a parent tries to get their child to live their own dreams. This is where it ceases to become parenting and it becomes instructing. Being there is normally the greatest gift for a parent to a child, just being there. Being there to slay the fattened calf when they mess up and come home broken. Being there to put on the robe when they think they deserve rejection. Making sure that even if they choose to waste an inheritance that they are still part of the family when they come home with their tail between their legs. For my own boys I have no dreams for their lives other than them just living. I’m not here to judge their every move, if they ask my advise I will give it to them, but I do not have to preach to them every day for them to know God in their every day lives. I trust God with them. I enjoy them. This is how it needs to be with this generation of radical misfits and mystics. With this generation of broken wanderers. We will all find someone that we can just be there for. Have an open door for. Have an open life for. For some it may be just for a season. For others it may be for life. For some we may just see them once, for others we may see them every day. The hearts of the fathers will turn to the sons and the hearts of the sons to the fathers. Must also be noted here this is not something of age either, the younger will sometimes father the older as well as the older the younger. The less experienced may father the experienced. Loving and yet not dependant relationships. Elastic connections that will stretch to the moon and back. We may have been orphaned but this generation will be able to say there are fathers and mothers in the land that are for them and not against them. Orphaned parents of the land your sons and daughters are here already. Be ready with open arms.

Growing up in the Assemblies of God tradition one of the first things I was introduced to as a serious Christian was the traditional Sunday morning ‘Breaking of Bread’ service. This was the meeting that all committed Christians had to make a special attempt to get to because of the command to remember ‘the Lord’s death until He comes on a Sunday morning, the first day of the week.’ It was always a bit more sombre than the evening Gospel service, that was there for outsiders. The focus was always upon a very old table at the front of the church that was called ‘the Lord’s table.’ On this table would be either a piece of bread or a cracker and some small individual tumblers with a little sip of Ribena or non-alcoholic communion wine. The worship every week would always lead us to this place where we would give account of our lives, repent of our sins and never take these emblems of His flesh and blood in an unworthy manner or we may eat and drink judgement on ourselves. It was always pretty scary, very serious and a time to recommit ourselves to following Him. As a young man there were times I felt I could not take the emblems because I had had a bad week and sinned. They called this ‘Communion.’ I took part in this weekly ritual from the age of 15 when I became a Christian until I left Tonyrefail and the ‘Pastoral’ life 6 years ago. Knowing all the time that the supper it refers to when Jesus shared that last meal with His disciples was nothing like this, and the one that Paul refers to would have been in a totally different context. A ‘Lovefeast’ as it became to be known. Yet both would have taken place in the context of a meal time and not a meeting time, and both would not have just been an isolated ‘nip and sip’ as Gerald Coates once called them, but a time for family and celebration and eating and drinking and being merry. This was the table I knew but the tables have turned.

Table Table

The table has taken on a whole new meaning for me now. Where as once it was the focus of just me and the Lord and a sombre place, I see tables everywhere as places of real communion. Places where fellowship and relationship can truly be formed. Dinner tables, breakfast tables, coffee shop tables, picnic tables, garden tables, coffee tables, pub tables, wherever there is a table is an incredible opportunity of realising that whenever two or three are gathered together there He is. This is where 2 x table = 3. That does not mean every conversation has to be littered with Bible discussions, but realising that every conversation we have will be permeated by the Divine because He dwells within us. There have times when we share bread and wine during a family meal time. At first I felt we had to have Bible study and Scripture readings to make it Holy, but I have come to realise that as family whenever we meet and eat and whatever the topic of conversation God is there amongst us. And sometimes His name even crops up. This has happened over the years sharing breakfast in people’s homes, having a coffee in an airport or in Starbucks. This has happened sharing buffets with friends and extended family. I have sat in a kitchen just sharing stories from life as we eat and drink together. All of these tables become the Lord’s table. All of these gatherings become Holy. There is no false sombre air about them, there is laughter, there is tears, there is story, there is life, there is distress and there is hope. Yet these tables become gathering places, not the focus themselves, but the places of lives shared. There is no room for hierarchy at a table as everyone has a level playing fields. The focus is not on one person but on each other. This is what King Arthur was allegedly trying to communicate through the round table, here we are all equals, together, joined, in fellowship. The tables are turning.

Place of Presence

In the tabernacle and the temple the table was the place for the bread of the Presence. Every table we sit at can become a place for the bread of His Presence. Mephibosheth was invited to always eat at the kings table, and so are we. Although imperfect we can incline with Him. Jesus inclined at the table with not just the twelve but with the Pharisees and tax collectors. The table became a leveller and place of encounter. The ‘Lord’s Table’ of old became a place of exclusion because unbelievers were told to let the bread and cup pass by. How embarrassing is that? What were we thinking? The table of the Lord becomes a place of inclusion. Let’s eat, drink, talk, fellowship, laugh and dwell together a while. Let’s share stories and see these stories touch hearts and lives. He has prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies. He anoints my head with oil and my cup overflows. He just says, time out, take a seat with Me. Feast upon the food I will give you and let me deal with the stuff. Take the weight off of your feet and let me take the weight. Oil will flow as we sit at the table together. Joy will return as the wine is poured out. Broken lives will be restored, relationships renewed, faith revived as we sit around tables. It is the turn of the tables. The tables have surely been turned.

The first comment by Cheryl about ‘discovering why we are alive’ provoked me and in the past few days I have been reminded of an incident a while back. I am very grateful for the supernatural activity of God, and over the course of time have witnessed many miracles. One of the most unusual was in Brazil after praying to break false prophecy (another interesting aspect as it releases a false destiny, not the reason why we are born!!) I saw a woman continually looking at her hand and then at her fingers. I was intrigued. Her fascination was that she now had fingerprints for the first time. How neat is that? Those markers of identity and uniqueness.

This illustrates the core of what I was pushing for in the previous blog. Discovering who we are is at the heart of the Gospel – through discovering who God is as revealed in the face of Christ. Life can seem for many to be crap at times, but there is a restoration of identity that salvation restores. The heart of the fallen world is to take that away, even by offering all kinds of successes and pleasures.

To bring glory to God is not to have a name so as we can really make him famous, it is to walk the silent path of discovering who we are, not through some inner journey alone, but through responding to the one who holds together all of Creation.

Only from that position is it viable to grapple with the corporate power of sin.

There are ‘laws of life’ that we are to live by, but the problem with simply quoting Scripture, such as ‘all your righteousness is as filthy rags’ to indicate that no matter how well we do we fall short is to take Scripture that applies to Israel with their righteous (law-keeping) behaviour not proving to be enough. We cannot take that and simply apply it universally. Even a lot of Pauline texts are dealing with the Jew/Gentile issue. We cannot make specific Scriptures and simply apply them universally. He does of course say ‘all have sinned…’ regardless of being Jewish or Gentile.

Sin can well be understood as never discovering the reason for which one was born

So ‘born in sin’? That’s a tough one to answer. If by totally depraved (the ‘T’ of tulip) is meant there is no good in someone, I reject that; if it is softened to indicate that humanity is tarnished in every aspect I can almost go there. In some way all of humanity is in Adam, and in need of a Saviour.

So sin is falling short, not making the grade, but borrowing from Walter Wink here is the core way I look at it. Working with the archery term (sin: missing the mark) let me suggest that sin can well be understood as never discovering the reason for which one was born. To miss the mark in that sense. To do so means we fall short of the glory of God. To discover why we are born, and to live it out is to bring true glory to God.

We need Jesus. He was fully human – we are not. He lived in relation to the Father – only what I see / hear him do… To be captivated by his love, to be incorporated into him, to receive the same Spirit, as the Spirit of adoption, then we can begin to falteringly walk in the same direction.

The real tragedy of sin is not that of wrong-doing, it is that of people living and dying never discovering who they were, why they were here… that can only be discovered, not by an inward search, but by a heavenly encounter.

Whatever we believe about sin, the effects are everywhere with personal and collateral damage. However where sin abounds, grace more abounds.

On Tuesday a friend, Karen McCrill Howard, shared a dream with me. That dream meant more to me than I am sure Karen would realise. I found such encouragement in it that I wanted to share it and a few thoughts surrounding it here. Before I go any further here is the dream as Karen shared it with me;

Usually when I fly in a dream, I am doing the flying. This is different.
I was watching from miles high in the air…the clouds were barely visible below & I watched as a group of regular folks (believers!) were each flying on the backs of huge, wider than horse’s backs, Canada Geese. The group was the last, the 4th group, & that was the most difficult flight. Previous goose flyers simply had to fly, this group must bring it in!! All they had to hold on to were the reins ,which they wouldn’t have even considered using to control the goose. This flock had to make a steep bank to the left, and all the while maintain their position on the Goose’s back, or maybe the goose balancing their person on their backs, which they could all do!… it was like a sudden re-entry.
All this seemed very frightening because I was going to be doing it too.(—the dream goes on about my fear of wild goose flying, which I’m sure doesn’t pertain to you flyers—)
end dream
while awakening, & thinking about this dream I both heard & saw 2 big block letters with the words “H G knows everything” wondered what that meant & right away, Holy Ghost. Not a term I use.
Listened to Frankie Lanes Wild Goose

My heart knows what the Wild Goose knows
I must go where the Wild goose goes
Wild Goose, brother goose which is best
A wanderin’ fool, or a heart at rest?

An Geadh-Glas

It is believed that the Celtic Christians preferred to refer to the Holy Spirit using the metaphor ‘The Wild Goose.’ For them the Holy Spirit was not a quiet, demure bird but a loud and uncontrollable one, which always seems to arrive unexpectedly and does not submit to human authority. Someone once called it the untamable wildness of hope. The word goose comes from the European word ghans, which is said to refer to the sound of honking that the geese make. The word wild is also of European origin, ghwelt, which means untamed or natural. The goose then is a bird of hidden treasure- of spirit in unseen motion, like water flowing underground, until it bursts forth in a spring. Wild is not a word of chaos but one of following it’s own will, making it’s own meaning, sailing on it’s own winds. The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. It is time for the Wild Goose Chase. We can feel as if we are going around in circles going nowhere, but really we are circling around the elusive and mysterious. Being caught up in the uncatchable, untamable One. This in turn makes us uncatchable and untamable. Join the flight of the wild goose.

Memories of Earlier Days

The dream is also very poignant on a personal level because one of the first messages I heard that made a lasting impact upon me was from my very early days as a Christian when I was in Bible College, when I attended the Assemblies of God Annual Conference (The term Holy Ghost was used here often). It was here I heard a man called Warwick Shenton, a man very ahead of his time. He spoke about the wild geese and how we needed to learn so much from them. He shared about the way they fly in the V formation, that there was never a dominant leader but a sharing together in each team. The one at the front paving the way through the wind currents while the others behind would honk in encouragement. After a time the one at the front would drop back while someone else took the lead. Everyone would have their turn at the front and everyone would then take their turn to follow and support. True sharing of the load, responsibility, care. Then if any goose was over tired or injured and it had to drop to the ground another would fly down to support it and keep it company until it was ready to fly again. Then they would just join in with another group and be welcomed and carry on the same roles until they reached their destination. To think someone was sharing this about 25 years ago is amazing. To be reminded of it now through this dream is a honk of encouragement in itself. A bit more honking we could do with in this wild flight. Our honking brings a connectivity in the wildness and unpredictability. No one dominant leader but a sharing of journey together. Sharing and caring and encouraging and free. Not tied together but joined in journey. There is a sense in my spirit that we so called disconnected one’s, the outsiders, the untamed, we are the one’s nurturing a new connectedness. Not through a meeting place, although that may happen, but through mutual encouragement and journey. There is a deeper connection happening than I have experienced before. A connection through the Wild Goose. Outsiders and in the margins, but right inside where we need to be right now, central. There is so much encouragement to be gained. It really is time to honk if you love the Lord.

Funny that when you least expect it something that is said or done does not just cause a ripple but a bit of a tidal wave. On Sunday morning I posted the following status update on Facebook;

So many status updates on a Sunday about life changing meetings, messages and ministries. This event is the most exciting ever. That event will be the best ever. The worship here is better than there. The vision day will give you insight to what we (you) should be doing to change the world. I’m just excited to be walking with the life-changer 24/7. No attendance or performance can connect me more to Him than I am right now. Will be walking and talking with Him while I watch my sons play football today.

The feedback from that has generated so far 83 comments and a debate about ‘going to church’ and being ‘connected’, being ‘accountable’ and ‘not neglecting the gathering together.’ I think I find it surprising because I have posted much more radical things than that status with hardly a flutter so why now? Why such a reaction? The empire seems to be striking back. The other thing is, out of those 83 comments in reply and reaction only once have I written anything and that was early on. It all seems to have taken on a life of it’s own. Plus I did not really make a comment about ‘going to church’ in the first place, it was more a comment on those hyped up Sunday morning status updates that I was fed up reading. I really was just saying. Now you would think I would be letting such things go over my head, after all I am walking in my convictions and know the sense of God with me. So why have I been letting it get to me? Why have I taken this all to heart? Why am I so sensitive? I have always been called to walk on a limb, on the edge, speak out the radical, live the margins. So why did God give me such a timid character?

Intimidation, the empires voice.

How many times in the past have I sung ‘be bold, be strong, for the Lord your God is with you?’ How many times have I quoted ‘He did not give me a spirit of timidity but a spirit of love, power and of sound mind.’ Yet here I am feeling a bit disorientated. The comments and questions can actually come from well meaning friends with a pure motive, but there is something sneaky about intimidation it just seems to creep in there, hanging on a word or a phrase or even a look. Inside I don’t feel the champion I just want to cower back into the shell. Like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz I shout out ‘put ‘em up’, but when someone does put them up I just want to run. I want to hide. The voice seems null and void. The old Paul Leader seems to be there still. The one that used to sit in the back of the class at school and say nothing in-case I said the wrong thing. Fear of getting it wrong. Teachers used to always write in my reports ‘wish Paul would take part more in class discussions’. There are loads of people who do not believe I am naturally a shy, introverted young man. They see the pulpit man, the preacher, the prophetic voice, the writer of bold, controversial statements. They fail to see the little boy inside nervous of the repercussions. I often have a few conversations with God about ‘why me?’ Surely there are plenty of others who could be used that would be so much more certain and forthright in this new landscape? People who could confidently give an answer to any question without feeling intimidated. Yet here I am still standing. Still walking. Still proclaiming. Intimidation really is the empires voice. Taking others words and adding a tone, a sharp point, doubt, fear. It comes to render us inactive. It comes to disqualify our walk and talk. It comes to take away our freedom and wants to reign us in again, to control us.

Evidence of God.

Instead of being a warrior for the Lord I feel a weakling. Where is my shield of faith that extinguishes all the fiery darts of the evil one? And yet when I really look at everything that has gone on with my life it screams of the evidence of God. There is no way I could have done or said any of this without there being a God. I do not seek confrontation, in-fact naturally I would avoid it. The timid man inside loves to go with a flow and be agreeable. Yet there is something that seems to dwell in my life that is a voice. It is there inside me and it spills out every now and again. I am compelled to say and do certain things. I say and do them without thinking. It rises up inside me and seems to burst out onto a page or into a listening ear. There must be a God. He must still be with me out here in this marginalised, questioinable place. The empire may be striking back but there is a sense of the return of the jedi. The force is stronger than evil. Perfect love casts out all timidity, even when I still feel weak. When I ask the question ‘why me’ I am reminded that he chooses the weak things of this world. I may not be always able but I am willing. From somewhere a strength comes. God! At this moment because of the backlash I may feel that I want to keep my mouth shut but I know I will open my mouth and put my foot in it again because He has put a fire inside that intimidation will not kill. Empire wants to kill what it cannot control but the stirring keeps coming. I cannot be silent. Isaiah once said to God in my interpretation, ‘you tricked me into this.’ He was welcomed in with bright lights and heavenly visions, in the place of glory, where he could not refuse to say ‘here am I send me.’ Then the rubber hit the road, no one listened to him, they questioned him as a prophet and he thought to himself, ‘I was conned, I only responded because of all the fireworks and the glory. All I have is this crap day after day. I want to shut up and live a normal life, but there is something inside me that compels me to keep going.’ Isaiah I know exactly how you feel.

• relationships for a reason
• relatationships for a season
• relationships for a lifetime.

(If you google you will find that there are many people from Christians, to secularists to psychics who use this framework, probably simply indicating that the concept makes sense.)

I hope that the title is self-evidently a little tongue-in-cheek, yet having some understanding that relationships are not all the same can help us, so here are some thoughts on the various relationships that we encounter.

Relationships for a reason

There are many times when people come into our orbit and influence us greatly. When those people are likeable (this of course can mean, they like us and don’t go out of their way to confront us!!) it can be easy to see who they are and value them. We need people who come alongside and encourage us. I remember years ago hearing Gerald Coates say that no-one can thrive in an environment of discouragement. However, there can be a little twist on this aspect of people who come into our lives, when they are people who we do not get on with too well. Yes, apparently we also need that to happen. In those situations it is often not so easy to see the purpose of what is going on. It is easy to see what is wrong with the other person… however, inevitably when the squeeze is on us things come out that show a few changes also needs to take place in us.

So these relationships tend to be shorter term, and in order to enable us to make the shift we need to at a specific time.

Relationships for a season

These will normally be longer-term relationships as they are not intended to help us make a transition, but to progress within the season we are in. A new season will normally demand a new way of thinking and a new way of working. So in these relationships we should be expecting that they will carry something different to us. In the initial stages there will often be a strangeness, of language and interpretation. When I experienced a major shift in the mid-90s, I increasingly mixed with people whose journey was different to mine. I both loved it and was provoked by it… but increasingly knew that they were vital to help me move in a fresh direction.

A great danger is in not accepting these new relationships, and of either not valuing the fresh perspectives through holding on to the influence of former relationships, or of so walking away from what was previous that there is a devaluation of the past.

Relationships for a lifetime

Relationships of this order will be fewer in number, and even when they are in place they will not all be the same. There are lifetime relationships where, even after a passage of time or distance of geography, the relationship is picked up where it was left. There are lifetime relationships that can also be where there is very regular, ongoing inter-connection. Such people will know us well, people we are safe with, but not because they always agree with us.

So… if interested, do a little web search and see what is written on this. Seems to me that we can end in trouble when we fail to discern what kind of relationship is in view, and when we try to force a relationship to be something it is not intended to be.

Relationships are wonderful, but can be complex. They can also be masked by any corporation / construct we are part of. Those are thoughts for another day.